I have spent my entire life being the shortest person in the room. Sometimes I thought that the experiences I had from that situation might make an interesting song. There are a multitude of humorous responses people have expressed to the question: “Does this dress make me look fat?” I thought I might ask a related question. Then one night this line hit me “does this song make me sound taller?” I built the song from that line. The experiences related in this song are all 100% true! (cross my heart).
Does This Song Make Me Sound Taller?
© 2020 by Craig Mecham
I have a condition, not from lack of nutrition
As you can clearly surmise
When God made my body
He said this one will be naughty; we better not make him full size
He’s gonna be short, said all the reports
Didn’t seem like a big deal to me
But out on the playground
There was a serious let down If I had to be on the team
Does this song make me sound taller?
When I sing it, do I sound six three?
If you close your eyes and don’t realize
Could I be on your basketball team?
A kid named Bob, thought that his job
Was to beat on me every day
He would attack from behind
He thought it was fine it was what he called “play”
I heard him behind me, and I thought it was time he
Learned a little lesson for good
He was poised for attack
When I swung my fist back into his future manhood
Diane was a tall one and I was a small one
So, my friends made a large bet
I wasn’t afraid and I wanted to get paid
So out on the dance floor I went
The song was a slow one, but I was a bold one
And we danced like we were the best
I said something absurd but she never heard
Cause my face was right in her chest
Well, now I’m an old guy and I think I know why
Short guys are getting it done
I have a great life with the prettiest wife
And I get paid for writing these songs
This song won’t make me sound taller
When I sing it, I’m still just 5’ 5”
It doesn’t matter, if I’m shorter and fatter
Because short guys (spoken) have been
statistically shown to have longer lives