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Perhaps it’s my love for horror movies or my tendency to romanticize my early years just a little, but suddenly one night my perfectly normal 4th grade teacher became this monster chasing me around the school. She was tall (everyone is tall to me) and skinny with long dark hair and a prominent nose but a kindly laugh and a nice smile. I liked her. Of course, because 4th graders have limited social skills and sense of decorum, we gave her a nickname. And I’m sure that figured into the dream too. This song is an expression of that recurring nightmare all those years ago.


My Teacher Was a Zombie
© 2022 by Craig Mecham

My teacher was a zombie
She tried to eat my brain
When she’d get close I’d run and hide
But she’d find me just the same

Her hair was dark and stringy
Like strands of sharp barbed wire
Her teeth were just like razors
Her breath was hot as fire

She found me in the gym
She found me by the door
She found me in the office
I can’t stand it anymore

I can’t run any faster
I can’t find a place to hide
I can’t escape forever
Even if I tried

She found me in the closet
Behind the mops and brooms
She found me on the playground
Or in the boys restroom

She found me in the lunchroom
Behind the serving trays
I thought I was a goner
I couldn’t get away


She was getting closer
I smelled her ugly breath
There was nowhere left to run
I was facing certain death

She finally had me cornered
I could see her slimy drool
When suddenly I heard my mom
Wake up you’re late for school!