If I Was Dead, She’d Notice Me
My beautiful wife Tammy is an addict. Yup. She’s addicted to Family History Research. She’s obsessed. She spends hours and hours and hours each day trying to make sure some poor distant relative in 1579 has his records straight. Is he married to the correct person? Are their children correctly attributed to them? Are their birth and death dates accurate? Do they have the proper location recorded? How about his trade? Was he a tailor or a weaver or a blacksmith? All these things and more keep Tammy up until late in the evenings, burning the midnight oil. I have often said to her that if I were dead, she’d pay more attention to me. And I have threatened to write a song about it. And so, I have. This is it. Just FYI, I have Tammy’s approval to perform this song in public and include it on this album. She’s a good sport. For that and one million other reasons, I love her.
My talented, good friend and bandmate, Xavier Hay did the awesome banjo work on this track. I love it!
Lyrics
Lyrics
© 2025 Craig Mecham
She’s got her nose in old records, digging through the past,
Chasing long-lost relatives, going way too fast.
Scrolling through the census, lost in faded ink,
I wave my hands and holler, but she don’t even blink.
If I was dead, she’d notice me,
She’d trace my name on a family tree.
She’d write down my birthday, my job, my fate,
But since I’m alive, I just sit here and wait.
She whispers to her laptop like it’s talkin’ back,
Excited 'bout a cousin from a long-lost track.
I try to get some lovin’, but she ain’t got the time,
I think she’s found a boyfriend in 1579!
If I was dead, she’d notice me,
She’d search my grave with intensity.
She’d order my records, sigh at my name,
But here on the couch, it’s just not the same.
(Bridge)
Maybe I should fake my own obituary,
Just to see if she’d react—it’s kinda scary!
Would she cry, would she mourn, would she call my kin?
Or just log on and start searching again?
She knows every little detail about great-grandpa Morris
Seems like she falls for every guy with rigor mortis
Maybe if I vanish, she’d finally realize
I'm a lot more fun than all those old dead guys!
If I was dead, she’d notice me,
She’d tell my tale for eternity.
But since I’m here and breathing still,
No need to pay attention before they read the will!
(spoken) "Hey hon, I found a long-lost relative for ya—He’s sittin’ right here…”